There is a whole world of potential mates, and in order to weed them you, you have to arm yourself with a checklist. Dating websites know this, that’s how they “match” you. While I don’t doubt the success of such matches, I prefer the old-fashioned accidental meeting. Plus it’s extremely hard for an arbitrary person to successfully set me up - remember, any given date has less than 8% chance of becoming my boyfriend - because in addition to Self-Awareness, I need: Skinny Legs as I detest thick legs on men. Efficiency. Thoroughness. Generousity. Preferably good at something I’m horrible at like installing storm door or setting up printers or knowing about new bands. Not too interested in television. (Once a friend tried to set me up with someone and goes, “Do you watch Real Housewives? He loves Real Housewives?” I think I puked in my mouth a little bit.)

I can’t think of anything more unattractive than being clueless about current events - a fortunately rare event in the New York dating scene. Loves to travel. Oh, and I like guys who just take care of things without making some big hoopla over it. That’s nice if you order a bottles while we are out, but I don’t need a neon sign indicating you did so. Thank you for organizing our New Year’s transportation, but please don’t tell me that you had to call twenty companies and wait for two to call you back and the price difference and yadda, yadda, yadda. I don’t care how you do it; just do it. And thank you.

The rest is pretty much sand. I don’t really care what color hair you have. My mom recently said, “You gotta give it to Emma. She doesn’t go for the looks.” I would like to be the more attractive party; but it’s not set in stone. I’m city jaded; material things fail to impress me. I guess I get hung up on some small things, but if that one small thing is going to bother you for the rest of your life, maybe it isn’t so small.
Emma Dinzebach

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